I have been in a real hard-core feminist mode recently (thanks to my machoist-schoivinist colleagues) so here's some links that go well with this mood:
The first is a blog, I have stumbled upon it completely by chance. She writes about her life as an American thirty-something grad student in biology (she is about to finish) and some of the thoughts/situations coincide with mines a lot. For example that one about the behavior of women (and their male bosses) in science. It worth a look.
The second one is just a "fun-game" which situates our blog giving it a "71% chance that it is written by a woman". Ha! See tarelle? You should really get back on track! :)
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6 comments:
Hey!
I left a comment here the other day! A long one! Mhmhm.
Will be back later.
Ok, so here we go again; On the day Lynx posted this piece, I had the great revelation that I am a moving and breathing impostor complex myself. Here is the story:
Two weeks ago or so there was a conference where I did poster judging. Ever since I was waiting for the phonecall telling me that what I did is a scandal, the presenters are complaining, there will be big trouble and I will lose my job. (No, I am not joking, not even exaggerating here!) But, on this very fine day, I talked to the guy who summarized the judges work to calculate the winner, and he thanked me for being thorough and logical in my judging.
Is it really worth to struggle through this profession with this much inferiority complex? I am less and less certain about it.
However, in Lynx's friends story it wasn't clear for me, did she ask the male co-workers too or not? Is it really limited to women?
I think I know at least one man who went through this.
oh, she's not my friend , I just stumbled across her blog by searching for something completely different...but she does sound sympathic :) If I understood well, this complex also exists in males (so there is no gender-restriction) but women in science represent this in an overwhelming way.
And one person I was not counting on having it is actually you! How sad it is that somebody with your talent, knowledge and logical thinking can suffer from this! I hope you are now a bit reassured...you certainly should be!
As for myself: you know I have a healthy ego, and (very recently) I also try to acknowledge my faults to overcome them - but what I have realized is that the totally insensitive "male" approach destroys much of my work, dismissing it entirely or correcting it up to a point where it is not mine anymore - just because I am a grad student and a woman at the same time.
Now, even if you know (like I do) that most of these corrections come from their own vanity and incapability of admitting that somebody else can be right or that some other approach is not entirely bad - there is a point where you start doubting yourself, no matter how healthy your ego is! Or if not that, you at least will be completely demotivated, like I have been since months. And no, it does not worth the struggle under these circumstances - at least not with these people. I can't wait to get out from there!!
Hey, we are on common ground again! How wonderful. But my boss who questions my logic, my scientific abilities and my mere results on regular base now (we just call it "the weekly ego-crush") is A WOMEN!
And I am truly at an alltime low of my self-esteem and motivation.
This is not new with me, when I was preparing for my MSc defence, I was almost 100% sure that they will discover that I don't deserve my degree, I know nothing and just were extermely lucky to get through the five years of university. (Which is a completely rational thinking, considering the ~100 exams we had to make...)
I miss you guys.
I know I hav been particularly silent in here for a long time. As lynx might have explained, I was quite busy changing life, city, job and all. Does not explain for not hugging you on this blog, sorry!
And now I can see the consequences : this blog is now only 29% male... Alas, lynx, you see that it is way too much!!!!
If I was only writing more here, my feminine instinct would make this blog a 99% female one!
So please, PLEASE excuse me and accept those big hugs from me.
hey, tarelle, tahnks for coming back - now the blog stand on "58% chance that it is written by a woman" :D it also says: "however it's quite gender neutral" :))
it is amazing how one single man can make a woman-majority unperceivable :)
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