I used to think I love changes, that I am the incarnation of flexibility. Well, I am not - that is something I have only realized recently and I am very proud of this discovery. Let me tell you why.
Whereas I
like new things, changes and surprises (sometimes even bad ones, because they can also mean excitement) I am just
unable to accept them. Just about as much as a six-month-old baby: give her the food 5 minutes later and she will cry her lungs out. Is this some sort of masochism? I am almost sure. The bigger the challenge, the higher the reward, when I finally make it (e.g. stop fighting back). But in the meantime the sh*t is scared out of me, so to say. I go as far as to initiate these changes (change countries, for example...) but be happy with my choice once the horror of adaptation is over.
What is interesting in it is that when I started to understand all this, I have found a book (or it has found me?) about the
acceptance of the inevitability of change. Strange, ha? It is Chinese (of course :-) ) but let me say in my defense that taoism is my favourite religion since a long-long time.
So, it is called
I Ching - translated "Book of Changes". And before you call me crazy to enter into strange practices of divination: it is not giving you outcomes or precise answers, it is merely somebody to talk to when you don't have anybody. You throw with coins to get a sign that will be the answer to your question - it is random, like everything else, so it could even be "true" whatever that concept means. You read what it says and then think about it. Easy, isn't it? What is difficult is to ask a good question and to look at your problem in an objective way - I guess it is this what makes it so good. And that's how I realized my difficulties with adaptation. Now I know that:
Alive, a man is supple, soft;
In death, unbending, rigorous.
All creatures, grass and trees, alive
Are plastic but are pliant too,
And dead, are friable and dry.
Unbending rigor is the mate of death,
And yielding softness, company of life;
Unbending soldiers get no victories;
The stiffest tree is readiest for the ax.
The strong and mighty topple from their place;
The soft and yielding rise above them all.